Last year, Landi and I drove from Pensacola florida to Las Vegas, and then on to Los Angles for Thanksgiving dinner with her brother, David. It’s a long drive, but it is 100% something you ought to do. If you wonder what has happened to America, drive across it. You’ll meet wonderful people of all races, colors, religions, backgrounds, team affiliations and galactic origin. With the singular exception of LSU Alumnae, I have found America to be filled with honest, decent people. Here’s a few noteworthy items from the trip:
- Amarillo, Texas! Be sure and stop at Big Tex’s. Trust me. You can’t miss it. Eat anything. It’s all good.
- Do not eat at any Thai place you find from this point until you reach Las Vegas.
- Be aware of the altitude as you drive. In some places in New Mexico and Arizona, you are 7500 ft above sea level. That’s why you can’t breath. It has nothing to do with the fact that you were a heavy smoker for 20 years. It’s the high desert air that’s the problem.
- The Grand Canyon is one f’ing mile deep. If you visit, you will see young men, roughly 18 or 20 years old JUMPING from rock outcropping to rock outcropping. ONE MILE STRAIGHT DOWN. Do not be alarmed. This is just natural selection at work.
- Go to Hoover Damn. Hoover Damn is pretty damn impressive. Take the tour, but be warned that:
- You have to ride an elevator 500 feet down into a solid stone mountain.
- Said elevator opens up into a tiny tunnel in the solid stone mountain.
- Said tiny tunnel can not possibly hold enough air for all of the people on the elevator. Stand near a small person. They don’t need much air.
- In Vegas, do the indoor skydiving thing. It’s not nearly as much fun as the real thing, but when you are 60 years old, and weigh 250 lbs, face it…it’s as close as you are ever going to get to jumping out of an airplane again.
- When in Las Vegas, get up at 4:30 or 5:00 one morning. Get some coffee and go down the the hall that leads out of the Casino. Take pictures. There are some banged up, used up, wasted people covered with shattered hopes and reeking of nervous sweat, cheap booze and nicotine who will parade by in a way that makes the Honduran Migrant Convoy look like a circus parade. Take pictures. They are fun to share with friends.
- Also in Vegas, stay at the Venetian. After making fun of the losers slithering out of the casino go and have breakfast with your family. Then, get bloodymarys at the bar and get in the hot tubs for a while. Just relax and visit with the other folks in the hot tub. Drinking in the morning is socially acceptable in Vegas.
- Enjoy Thanksgiving with family. We don’t see Uncle David nearly enough, but when we do, we always wish we could stay one more day. We miss his friends too. One, a photographer who is a body builder and lives in Vegas now, is one of the greatest and craziest people you can ever hope to meet. He has a couple of friends, the Christophers (we call them that because they are both named Christopher) who are just a hoot. One of them is a former professional chef.
- On the return trip, you will make it to Flagstaff, Arizona at the end of a long day of driving. When you ask the hotel clerk where you can get a good steak, he is going to say “Go to Black Bart’s!” and give you directions. It will be about 15 minutes from the hotel. When you see the sign “Black Bart’s RV Park, Steakhouse and Saloon”, do not panic. Yes, it actually says “Black Bart’s RV Park”, and the steakhouse is in the RV Park. Shut up, just go in. It’s a saloon hall! Order either the ribeye or the prime rib. Enjoy the music! Sing along! All of the staff are music and theater majors from the local college. When we were there, the saloon hall servers and staff were doing Disney tunes. It was and incredible treat. It’s worth going out of your way to get to Albuquerque just to go to this place. Buy the T-shirt. Here’s the link: http://blackbartssteakhouse.com/
We had so much fun doing this last year that we are doing it again this year, only taking the southern route.
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