The Gift

When we were kids, my brother, my sister and I were always very eager to open a gift on Christmas Eve. It was our family tradition that we could each open one gift after dinner on Christmas Eve. We usually had to wait for a pretty good while after dinner to do it. We just spent a lot time with Mom and Dad, and Coachie and Miss Dot.  We all laughed a lot and told stories about Christmas’s past. We’d all laugh when Coachie would tell the story about when I jumped out of the baby bed when I was 5 months old. According to legend, I landed on my head.  Dad always told the story about when he and Coachie were quail hunting in Dad’s MG Midget and had a flat. They had no jack. Not a problem, Coachie just picked up the back of the car while Dad changed the tire and the hunt continued. Miss Dot sparkled while Mom and Ralph cooked quail. There was always football talk. If you were wise, you listened carefully to Coachie BEFORE you spoke with your bookie. Before we realized it, it was 10:30 and we’d open gifts before going to midnight services at St. Marks.

So here we are some 40 years later. A few years ago I had the most amazing Christmas epiphany. All those years ago, I used to look at the wondrous array of gifts resting beneath the tree at Mom and Dad’s house. I was awed by all the beautiful gifts that were there. I knew that there would be new clothes and maybe new boots, a new Cowboy hat perhaps, and books. I always got books, and loved everyone of them. My brother and sister both got similarly prized gifts, all wrapped in festive paper and neatly tied up with colorful ribbons and bows. I thought they were all the most wonderful gifts imaginable. These many years later, I realized that I was wrong.

At first glance, one would think that the Christmas gifts are sitting beneath the Christmas Tree waiting for the kids. Though the gifts under the tree are for the kids, I realized that the ‘gifts’ under the tree, aren’t the ‘gifts’ that matter at all.

The real gift that we aging parents give to ourselves is this.  Even if it’s just for one day, the hectic pace of modern life stops for a little while and we get to see our children and grandchildren. Our children, who are otherwise off building their lives and families, come from far and wide for a special night with us. We hold our now grown babies again, and then hold their tiny babies.  We celebrate career triumphs and commiserate disappointments. We get updates on progress toward life’s goals. We hear of loves lost, and exciting new opportunities. No one will be watching Seinfeld reruns tonight! There are gifts to open!

Our children will continue to think that the Christmas gifts are under the tree until their kids go off to college or marry. That is when they will realize that the gift a parent most cherishes is time with their children. To a parent, the time with their children is the greatest gift of all.

The boxes under the tree?

They are just bait.

Go see your parents. No need to wrap a gift.

Merry Christmas!

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