This morning dawned with a beautiful blue sky. The air was crisp and clean and clear. My morning coffee smelled wonderful as my trusty Keurig machine slowly pumped out it’s wonderful morning elixir. ‘Slowly’ is the operative word. My bride noticed it, too. The weather forecast called for rain so my plans of installing water and electricity lines for the pavilion were flushed. I eyed the Keurig machine. It’s probably just a scale build up, I thought.
So, I consulted the Interweb. I’ve seen videos on YouTube.com that made neuturing your dog look easy, so surely the all knowing experts would have a detailed a procedure to ‘de-scale’ the Keurig. A few minutes of viewing confirmed my suspicions. It just entailed running vinegar through the machine some, and then flushing it with fresh water a few times. Not much of a task, but good enough for a rainy day.
White vinegar is a weak acid, and it is used to break up calcium scale that develops in the coffee maker. Heat and acid work together to return your coffee maker to like new function, I was assured by the experts on the interweb. I poured the vinegar into the water resevoir and turned the machine on. It heated for a few moments, and then I worked the lever and pressed the button to run the vinegar through the machine as if I were making coffee with it. The machine growled and whirred, and in just a few seconds, a trickle of vinegar began to fill the coffee cup. I repeated the process. Again vinegar filled the coffee cup. A third time…..and nothing. No growl, no whir and most importantly, no vinegar.
Fast forward four hours. The damn thing still doesn’t work. It’s just a damn water heater. What can go wrong? I again consult the experts on the Interweb. Aha! A video on how to take a keurig apart assures me that 1) it can be easily disassembled, and 2) each part can be tested! Salvation is at hand. I once completely rebuilt a 1967 Triumph GT-6 with a 12 piece socket set, a crescent wrench and a rubber hammer. A coffee maker made by forced labor in China should be a snap.
I watched the video and paused it. I then performed each step before continuing. I had removed the 4 screws that hold the base plate on, including the two that are recessed deeply in the coffee maker. There are three ground wires going to a rivet in the base. The expert on the Interweb says to be careful with them. I then carefully removed the 4 screws that hold the base ring on. After removing the base plate screws, it is necessary to use pliers to squeeze a couple of hose clamps to remove the hoses so that the base plate can be moved away. A few more screws are removed so that red and white wires can be disconnected from an led light. Wires are disconnected from the low water device.
At this point, the Interweb expert says, get a drill and drill out the rivet that has the three ground wires. We’ll use a small stainless steel screw, nut and washer during the reassembly process.
GET A DRILL AND DRILL OUT THE RIVET? WE’LL USE A SMALL STAINLESS STEEL SCREW, NUT AND WASHER DURING THE REASSEMBLY PROCESS?
That would be a handy piece of information to have up front.
Do I have a small, stainless steel screw, nut and washer that are the right size for the rings on the end of the ground wires?
Of course not.
Do I drill out the rivet? Of course not.
I begin to put the damn coffee maker back together. Let me just say that neuturing you dog might be easier and involve less pain. No surprise it still doesn’t work. It’s 4:00pm. I’m not going to Walmart today for a new Keurig machine.
Looks like tomorrow might be a bloodymary morning.
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