Posted by William Garner under Uncategorized

  1. A Lab believes she can cure you when you are ill
  2. A lab does not recognize the concept of personal space.
  3. A lab considers all bugs to be playmates.
  4. A lab will ensure that your beer does not get warm.
  5. A lab will joyfully remove your empty beer can.
  6. A lab will joyfully bring your empty beer can back to you.
  7. A lab can eat one 17 lb. brisket
  8. A lab’s brisket fart can lead to blindness.
  9. A lab can hide on six-inch long pizza crust inside his closed mouth.
  10. A lab will bring you your garden gnomes.
  11. A lab can empathize.
  12. A lab will bring you your yard lights.
  13. A lab will lie to you about having been recently fed.
  14. A lab will go for a swim several times a day.
  15. A lab will ensure that your ears are clean.
  16. A lab understands more English than an eight-year-old boy, and follows directions better, too.
  17. A lab understands the importance of a nap.
  18. A lab will bark at flying birds.
  19. A lab will bark at a leaf.
  20. A lab will bark at imaginary objects.
  21. A lab will only speak to you in English only when your fever exceeds 104 degrees, and then he speaks like Batman.
  22. A lab cannot shell peas.
  23. A lab will never intentionally rat you out.
  24. A lab is a good listener.
  25. A lab cannot sing.
  26. A lab loves all your favorite music.
  27. A lab will lay in the sun for the simply joy of laying in the sun.
  28. A lab understands.
  29. A lab appreciates the true value of a cool tile floor.
  30. A lab owns prime space on the couch.
  31. A lab is a lap dog.
  32. A lab will produce enough hair in 48 hours to knit an entire other dog.
  33. A lab is an outstanding judge of character.
  34. A lab will sell his soul for a piece of bacon.
  35. A lab will keep a secret.
  36. A lab will watch football or baseball or soccer or golf or NASCAR or cornhole with you.
  37. A lab sheds no more than absolutely necessary.
  38. A lab will clean a baby’s face far better than any washcloth.
  39. A lab will love your child as much as you do.
  40. A lab’s cold nose can be quite startling.
  41. A lab sees vomiting as a routine bodily function.
  42. A lab loves to play fetch the poodle.
  43. A lab has little in the way of impulse control.
  44. A lab has an amazing amount of personal dignity.
  45. A lab is a retriever, but he may not be a ‘give it back’er.
  46. A lab does not mind the rain.
  47. A lab takes no notice of mud.
  48. A lab is never guilty.
  49. A lab is never stubborn.
  50. A lab loves to play.
  51. A lab is trusting.

Written by William Garner

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